Wrong Bruce
by takumiraine
Summary: When a reporter overhears a call from Tony Stark to his boyfriend Bruce Banner, they mistake Bruce for Bruce Wayne. Naturally they have a field day. Naturally Tony is not pleased. Naturally those who know him best think he's being over dramatic. A Drabble.


Heres another kink meme fic!

"You're always busy! I need you at home!" Tony Stark's voice went from angry to whiny in no time flat, the vowels carrying on the air to the ear of a very interested reporter sitting at a nearby bistro table. The genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and Avengers member was too busy with his boyfriend to notice the cell phone camera being trained on him from under neath a paper. The camera zoomed in on Tony's face as he stalled, capturing the scowl that etched itself onto the goateed face.

"I know you've got to deal with your projects Bruce, but we haven't had a drink in so long..." A cajoling grin wound its way onto Tony's face, suggesting drinks meant much more. It also suggested that if they were on a landline Tony would be wrapping the phone cord around his fingers like a teenaged girl. "And being a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist is just so hard without someone who understands..." There was a pause as Bruce Banner replied that Tony's full time secretary, Pepper Potts, would know more about understanding him than he would, before Tony laughed.

"She couldn't hope to understand me as well as you do." The pause and response had Tony frowning and sighing. "No, no I understand. You're busy with your stuff. I'll go have a drink by myself at home missing you." Another pause, this time shorter.

"Really. I understand Bruce. I love you too." He hung up the phone and stared at it for a while, disappointment schooled into an impervious mask within seconds. He pressed a button and had JARVIS bring the car up. By the time his ride, and frustrated secretary, showed up even those most attuned to Tony Stark's moods and needs couldn't tell the difference between a sulking because S.H.I.E.L.D. liked to send his boyfriend away Tony and a depressed because he's having a bout of lonely, low self esteem ridden depression Tony. Which is how he liked it.

"JARVIS, set a course for home." Tony instructed, ignoring Pepper's 'cutting me off in the middle of something important for a call from your boy toy does not fly' look.

"Of course Sir. Route set."

Tony nodded, grabbing and taking a swig of the bottled water that had been cooling in a console, wishing it had the burn if a nice whiskey. Tony looked out the window, 'listening' to Pepper lecture him. When the car pulled int its spot at Avengers Tower, Tony didn't wait before jumping out of the car and heading to the elevator, a quick override command to JARVIS keeping Pepper from following no matter how important her business with him was. It could wait until tomorrow.

"JARVIS?" Pepper asked, sighing softly at the elevator doors.

"Yes Ms. Potts?" The AI replied, regality etching the synthetic voice.

"This is going to keep happening isn't it?"

"It is too early for data to be conclusive, but from the current behavioral data I have compiled on Mr. Stark, I would be more than willing to hazard a guess that indeed you are correct."

Pepper sighed at the news. "I need a raise."

Tony took the elevator to his room, pausing briefly on the main floor to gather up several bottles of booze, ranging from whiskey to wine to rum and vodka. If he had to be alone and miserable, at least he'd be alone, miserable, and drunk.

Uncapping the first bottle, he took a swig, grimacing faintly at the taste. Normally he cut the first few with soda, but that took too long and he wanted to be out of it now.

By the time Tony passed out, surrounded by both empty bottles and full ones, clutching Bruce's pillow to his chest, the late breaking news was on across the city. By morning everyone would have heard the news that Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark, two men supposedly cut from the same immature, hedonistic, and philanthropic cloth, were now an item.

Everyone except Tony of course.

When Pepper entered the Tower the next morning, she came with no sympathy and enough rage to threaten her own Hulk level transformation, minus the Gamma rays required to fuck with your DNA of course. She entered Tony's bedroom, to find the bed filled with bottles and Tony half hanging off the edge, arm and head resting on a small garbage bin, snoring softly.

Pepper sighed thankful that at least he had woken up before vomiting this time even if he had fallen back asleep hanging over the mess.

"Antony Stark, wake up!" She shouted at him after taking stock of the room. The man barely stirred, aside from groaning pathetically. Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose to force back a looming headache. "Fine Tony, sleep all day. It doesn't matter that Bruce finished up early and is on his way home." The irritated tone in her voice dropped to a saccharine sweet one. It was a low blow and she knew it, but there were bigger fish to fry than Toy getting his libido sated. Still, the words did the trick, and Tony was soon pushing himself off the plastic waste receptacle.

"ETA?" He grumbled, stumbling to his en suite bathroom and splashing some cool water on his face.

"Tony, he's not coming home ahead of schedule. I hate to have had to do that to you but there are much more important matters that we need to discuss." Pepper stated, honestly apologetic, but still firmly business. Tony's face fell when he heard Bruce wasn't coming back. It wasn't just about the sex between them, special and far between as it was, it was a bunch of little things all rolled up into one brightly wrapped package. The way they fit together perfectly on the couch or curled up in bed. The way they could finish each other's thoughts in the lab and make things bigger and better than before. The way Bruce took Tony's jabs and teases and returned them in his own subtle witty way. Tony had never thought he'd understand what it meant to have half of you missing, but without Bruce there was no way he was whole.

Pepper couldn't see the obvious shift in Tony's features, trusting JARVIS to keep her patched through as she relayed the latest news from least important to most important while Tony showered, 'uh huh'ing or chiming in with an 'oh really?' with enough frequency to at least seem like he cared.

"And I think that's it for the report..." She stated, leaving a copy of the newspaper on Tony's bed, headline reading 'Gotham and New York Come Together: Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark dating' in bold print. Pepper turned to leave, pausing in the doorway of Tony's bedroom.

"Oh, one more thing. The world thinks you're dating Bruce Wayne."

"WHAT?!" Tony exclaimed, a loud plastic crashing signaling the drop of shampoo or body wash. There was no answer, and by the time Tony made it to his bedroom door, Pepper was gone. Groaning, Tony looked at the newspaper on his bed, reading the headline and skimming the body, shampoo sliding down his chest, abdomen, and then legs, the man having forgone a towel in his haste.

"JARVIS, have the original newsfeed of this incident brought up in the main room and ready for when I finish my shower." He instructed, returning to his bathroom, heedless of the puddles he was leaving on the floor.

By that afternoon, Tony was ready to kill someone. Or everyone. This was a nightmare and everyone he talked to didn't see the big deal. Not even the fucking Batman himself was perturbed. Granted his reputation was getting a boost by dating none other than Tony Stark, but still. The least he could do was pretend to be concerned.

"Call Bruce" Tony instructed, laying back on the couch, not feeling like laying in his room while the stench of stale booze and vomit cleared out.

"Hello Tony." The voice on the other end intoned, quietly amused and patient, as he always was when the man called during 'missions'. Then again Bruce was probably the only one who realized that Tony feared the disappearance of all that he loved more than anything else. he was probably the only one of the Avengers that would put up with the calls because of it.

"So we have a problem. Have you seen the news?"

"You mean you cheating on me with Bruce Wayne? I saw."

"I'm not dating or sleeping with that Stark wanna be! I've never even entertained the idea! And you know it!" The quiet chuckle from the other end of the line told Tony that Bruce knew. "How are you not upset about this? It's not funny."

"It's a little funny."

"How is it funny? He's not even in my league! Besides, he runs around in spandex with a cape. I've got an iron suit of bad-assery."

"It's funny because you're so bothered by this. You know the news is just trying to find a way to make more money without actually delivering useful content. It'll all blow over in a few days."

"I don't want to have to wait a few days. Who knows what kind of undesirables will come prowling around here while I'm by my lonesome, all indisposed thinking of my wonderful boyfriend?"

"Tony, I'll be home tomorrow and you know it. And then whatever this is, whether the media is taking it too far or not..."

"They are."

"We'll be able to lock ourselves in the lab and deal with whatever it is after we make you something new and cool. Something Wayne would kill to have. Okay?"

"Sounds like a plan..."

"Oh and I know what I can go as for Halloween."

"What's that?"

"Your best friend. Batman." Tony growled unhappily, upset at being teased.

"JARVIS, end call." He instructed folding his arms in a huff.

The nerve of some people.


End file.
